I'm just who I am

The introduction....a poem by Richard Ntiru comes to mind when I think about   what I am going through at the moment....

The Introduction

Perhaps it was his ugil shirt-
The missing button
The unassertive collar;
Perhaps it was his knotty hair
That boasted little acquintance with the comb
Or maybe it was his usualness
- One more impersonal handshake
Along the constant street-
That induced the functional smile
And operated the mechanical handshake.

His name didn't help either;
Mugambo Mugenge - You'd hear the name
In the outpatients attendance queue;
Not in the current Telephone Directory!

You certainly needed prompting.
I said he was an old time friend
But you continued to wave to passing cars;
I added he was a highly placed man
And you promptly took your cue

-" A University teacher, author of several works"-
"RE-E-Eally? Er-Om-Oh!...."
And you became word and emotion perfect
Like a dog that mistakes a thief for a visitor
And remembers to bark at his masters coughing,
You renewed and pumped the handshake
-Reshaped your mouth to a proper smile
-Recalled his famous public talk
That you had regretfully missed...
And observed, thoughtfully,
How unlike his photographs he looked.

You were tuned-
Delved deep into his latest novel
And wondered why his main characters
Do not walk on solid earth
And fail to effect living communication
You'd have rambled on, no longer looking at him,
But he quipped:
"They are in good company"
And was about to add when you knowledgeably
interrupted

"Society is a market stall
And men are goods on display
Where the label is more important than the labelled
And the price is more fascinating than the value".

We parted, hoping to meet again.
You went away rehearsing his name
But probably un-remembering his face.

RICHARD NTIRU

A person becoming "word and emotion perfect" when he learns the guy he was casually ignoring is actually a high standing man in society.

They say image is everything. Unfortunately, despite knowing myself very well, knowing who I am and what I want, somebody wants me to change my image, because apparently, when we meet other people, they tend to ignore me, until when they hear the position I hold somewhere!

The art of managing an image, especially since I do not hold public office, is one I find hard to master. I am certainly unprepared for these changes being demanded of me. I find myself thinking like I used to in primary school when I did not agree with my teachers. Just being rude. But again, the cost can be enormous. That is my dilemma.

Just listening to Celine Dion's "On change pas" I feel like telling the change mongers...I might be wearing plastic hair and make up to please you, but deep inside, lies a proud African woman fighting to keep her identity.

I leave you with Celine Dion's "On ne Change Pas"

Dholuo love ballads

It is one lazy weekend for me, so I've turned on my old CDs of Luo music. I'm relishing this moment and dancing my heart out. Great music.

I had never realized this before, but it seems all of them are singing about women...love gone sour...is one major repeated theme "Isanda nango" , "Isanda gi hera", for the non dholuo speaker, it simply means, "why are you mistreating me....your love is hurting...and even more "Ilal Kanye", "Rambanya nyathi maber moromo manyo"...where did you go, and the beautiful one is worth searching for....

I have always had this impression that Luo men do not value their women a lot, going by the way they are treated, widows having their property grabbed, the fact that we have no permanent places in our own homes - that if a young girl or woman dies, she has to be buried outside the home and even the fact that we don't traditionally inherit land.

But not in music! As long as Luo music continues picturing the woman as a powerful force who the musician can't live with, i will continue loving it.

I leave you with this link of Aluoch Jamaranda's song, which I only love the first part! (the Agutu nyathi maber...not the Malo malo)

Wambui Otieno

It seems Mrs Wambui Otieno Mbugua is still fighting battles even in death. I could not believe my eyes when I read in the press that the Umira Kager clan is actually trying to bury her in Nyalgunga! What the ....! But again I could see from the TV footage that somehow she anticipated this. What with her grave already dug and her wishes clearly spelled out in black and white?

One thing I do admire about her though, is her guts. Her daring acts did indeed expand the space for Kenyan women to do some things they never thought they would do. Even though I was just a little girl at the time she fought a court battle with Joka Umira Kager over the burial place of her late husband, it was a lesson that a woman can indeed fight for what she thinks is right.

Growing up in a house where I heard my dad almost everyday, telling my brother "Otieno ae jikon" urging him to get out of the woman's space, in a way, claiming sons like "Otieno" my brother who shares the same name as Wambui's late husband, had more important things to do than hanging around the kitchen with girls and their mothers, kind of reinforced the idea that they are of a superiour breed. But the SM case, kept one woman in the headlines for a long time. Yes, I realised, our issues also do matter in the national press.

Being in the headlines, Wambui was a reminder that yes, even though you fight for what you want and don't get it, you can always keep your head up.

I loved her marriage to Mbugua. It went to show that women don't need to hide behind the veils that society creates for them. After her marriage that shocked many Kenyans, it soon became normal as many women went public with their marriages to younger men. I remember once when I was an intern reporter, some angry men called my workplace, wanting reporters to go and see a case where an old woman had apparently bewitched a young man to be her lover. They were ready to lynch her and she was held at a local chief's camp in Githurai. As I investigated, I found out both parties were adults, over 25 years old...it was a non story, save to advise the local community that there was nothing wrong if the two were consenting adults....just like Wambui Otieno.

Wambui might not know it, but she was a role model to many people. may she rest in peace.